Let her go
by Sam2012Nicholls
Summary: *Based on lyrics by passenger* A Tam story about Tom hitting Sam and what happens afterwards. One-shot but it's quite long.


Let her go

*Based on lyrics by passenger* A Tam story about Tom hitting Sam and what happens afterwards. One-shot but it's quite long.

_Well you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go  
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missing home  
Only know you love her when you let her go  
And you let her go _

As Tom walked into resus he looked around to check that his dirty work was carried out undetected. As the tall doctor unlocked the cabinet and took out a small bottle of diazepam he locked the cupboard with the key and swiftly exited the room to replace the key without been noticed.

Little did Tom know his blonde girlfriend of just less than 3 months was watching as he walked out of the room. She silently followed him to the staffroom and walked in unannounced.

"Don't!" She warned, "Don't do it Tom!"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Tom lied, not daring to look at Sam.

"I'm talking about the drugs you just took from the cabinet." Sam was growing increasingly worried about Tom and his behaviour, as he hadn't slept the previous night. "You don't need them!" Sam was trying desperately to stay calm as she also tried to convince him to change his mind about the drugs.

"It's none of your business." Tom just wanted her to stay out of his way, let him have some time alone, and just a bit of privacy.

"It is my business," Sam held up Tom's wrist trying to reason with him. "It's down to me you're taking them in the first place." Sam now felt guilty about what she had done. "Tom you could lose your job, I could lose mine!" Sam was struggling with trying to keep her fiery temper under control.

"Sam, just leave it!" Tom was also getting annoyed with his partner.

"I'm not going to leave it!" Sam was very stubborn and now used that to her advantage.

"I said leave it!" Tom replied.

"Give them to me Tom!"

"I said just LEAVE IT!" Tom yelled as he slapped Sam's left cheek just as shocked as she was at what he'd just done to her.

Looking at each other for a few short moments Sam quickly walked out of the room close to tears.

Tom thought of chasing after Sam but didn't want to hurt her again.

* * *

2 hours later Tom was in the pub after downing his 10th glass of beer he looked into his empty glass, thinking off the dreams him and Sam had. Possibly marriage, in his mind he even planned on kids with the woman he had once called the love of his life.

_Staring at the bottom of your glass  
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last  
But dreams come slow and they go so fast_

Tom ordered another glass of Scotch whiskey and after gulping it down in one go he stumbled out of the pub and decided to make the 5 minute walk back to his, which took almost 20 that night.

Tom had decided just to go straight to bed that night so he lay down under the empty covers of his king sized bed, which felt much bigger alone and closed his eyes.

_You see her when you close your eyes  
Maybe one day you'll understand why  
Everything you touch only dies  
But you only need the light when it's burning low._

Sam had always seemed such a sunny person, but Tom now feared the future for them both.

_Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go_

Of course Tom loved Sam, he still did after tonight, but now Tom felt so low he didn't even feel at home, not anymore now that Sam wasn't with him.

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missing home  
Only know you love her when you let her go_

Where could she be? Tom was worried as her old flat had been sold so she had nowhere to go, other than some old pub, just like Tom had done.

* * *

Tom knew he wasn't getting to sleep soon so opened his eyes staring at the ceiling with an empty feeling in his heart.

_Staring at the ceiling in the dark  
Same old empty feeling in your heart_

Sam had slowly fallen in love with Tom, and now in only 2 seconds he has ruined it for them both.

_Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast._

* * *

After a few hours Tom tried again to fall asleep, again unsuccessful. Tom knew he'd never hold her again, not after tonight, and that truly broke his heart in 2.

_Well you see her when you fall asleep  
But never to touch and never to keep  
'Cause you loved her too much and you dive too deep_

_Well you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go  
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missing home  
Only know you love her when you let her go  
And you let her go_

Tom thought long and hard about what was going to happen next, but still drunk his mind was filled with other less important things.

**1 year later**

Tom stood still and silently as the black coffin was lowered into the hole in the ground.

_'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go_

As a thin woman, about 21 years of age, stood at the front of the crowd. "Hi, today I am here to tell you about the life and death of my older sister."

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missing home_

She paused and sighed before continuing. "Sam Nicholls, 29, a tom-boy, an army girl, but most importantly she was a mother who gave up everything for her young daughter."

Tom's mind was racing; he knew that now he'd have to look after his child, well Sam's child. Even though it was biologically his, emotionally she felt like a stranger to him, which in all honestly, she was. The little girl sat on Tom's hip looking around curiously, not knowing what had happened or why everyone was so quiet.

As Sam's sister was speaking at the front he decided to slip to the back, so no-one could see the tears falling down his now pale face.

"Sam didn't deserve to die, but I think I speak for everyone when I say we should be happy that she died a hero. Samantha died saving another life, the one of her ex-boyfriends. Tom Kent." The woman, Jodie, finished her speech and came over to Tom. She said nothing, and neither did he but she nodded and smiled at the tall man.

**As Tom walked slowly across the street he wasn't looking or focusing on anything.**  
**A red car raced towards him as he stood, shell-shocked and instantly felt a force push him aside. Confused Tom looked into the middle of the usually quiet road and saw a small frame lying life-less.**  
**Sudden realisation had caught up to Tom as he ran towards the figure, who he hadn't seen in just under a year. "Sam!"**  
**After an hour at the scene Sam was pronounced dead.**

_Only know you love her when you let her go  
And you let her go_

Tom came out of his flash back and decided to head towards his car. Strapping the 3 month old baby in the back he got in the front and drove towards the community centre for the wake, but then drove straight home. Tom wasn't in the mood for drinking and Sarah was asleep in the back.

Tom tucked the child up and kissed her head softly as he collapsed next to her on the bed. He then shut off his light and held the small child close to his chest, the way he used to with Sam and fell asleep in a very peaceful silence.

**Hope you enjoyed that!**


End file.
